Opinion
Column 11 – Part 1
A somewhat triumphant return!
It really has been forever. The cool thing about returning to something after so long, is that once you finish a new project without a deadline,
it feels that much sweeter.
The last time I wrote we were moving to Indy. A lot of things have happened since then, one of smaller things being the fiasco at the Superbowl.
I debated about publishing this column for awhile, but with recent requests for more articles, I decided if for nothing else, it will help me capture my thoughts for that moment in time before they are gone.
So, as a warning, if you are not in what my survey calls, the 18-25 crowd, ie you are anyone’s parents or a rightfully old enough to be so, I wouldn’t read my opinion. But otherwise, have at it, and let me know what you think.
I never though that I would say…. (Superbowl 2004)
When you are a child, and you are picking your nose through the sermon at the 9:00 service, you mom looks over at you and says, “That’s inappropriate, stop it.”
I never knew exactly what that meant, inappropriate. I always thought that it was the catch all for parents when they didn’t have a specific reprimand for a given situation.
For example when you show the unusual growth on your upper thigh to your grandma while you are standing in line for an ice cream cone. Your parents find it a little funny, but don’t have a cheat sheet for punishment that says, “Showing butt in public = two weeks without TV.” So instead they give you the catch all scold, “Your butt is not appropriate at the ice cream store, you should be ashamed.”
So I swore when I was young that I would never catch myself saying the word “inappropriate”.
But after the Superbowl last month I found myself thinking, “how irresponsible and yes, inappropriate.” But, if Janet Jackson wants to ruin her career, fine, she has had a good run and now we can all remember her as Ms. Peek a Boob.
As a matter of fact, now it is a month and a half later and most of us adults are not thinking about the idiocy of the event on a daily basis. With the shuffle of everyday life, we aren’t phased, and have more important things to worry about. But I am sure that one month after a rock star bares her breast in front of possibly 40 million children, they have not forgotten, and their lives are forever changed.
“Thank you” to yet another Jackson for preying on children. We all knew the moment it happened that she was getting the reaction she planned.
None of this is news and this is obviously, not the point I will make.
But something else about the performance didn’t set easy with me. It took a day or two of watching the news, reading the papers, and watching Wayne Brady do funny yet crass sound effects of bouncing, unleashed women parts.
My stance will be a less common and popular one.
Let’s rewind.
A busier time in life…
It is late summer of 2002. I am finishing up what is one of the busiest months of my life. In one long day, I work an eight hour day outside in 90 degree sauna-esque heat, by myself pack all of my stuff, dressers and all, into the family van and drive two and a half hours home to Grand Haven, arriving close to 2:30 a.m.
Two days later, after unpacking everything, I leave for Iowa. A fourteen hour trip one way, I officially determine that sleeping in a car was a thing of my childhood. A week visit and then another fourteen hours home in a car with four women and a John Walsh audio tape. Yippee!
The next week I work fifty hours of physical labor in a shop that is also roughly 90 degrees. Then, that Friday after a 10 hour day I drive eight hours to Cincinnati.
Tired yet? Well here’s more.
Early the next morning this friend and I drive ten hours to Maryland, picked up another friend, and we all headed to Philadelphia to hang out for a week with yet another friend.
As I have established, I no longer can sleep in a car, unless I am driving it, and I also don’t sleep well in foreign beds. It was the start of my allergy season, so this loss of rest coupled with congestion headaches and a runny nose made me sick.
The week ended and I was driving the final stretch of a relentless month. Being a busy body and having a Type A personality, it was weird to be having fantasies of lying in bed and eating Chuckles all day.
But I pushed back an eight hour sleep night for one more day. Lansing was on the route home, so I stopped over to see my close friend Justin Varner and to use his cable television.
The 2002 MTV Music Awards
It was the first week of September and like every year; it was time for the MTV music awards. I always looked forward to the awards because they are entertaining and the artists are unleashed a little, making for a volatile environment.
But I was not watching for humor or a sad performance by Axl Rose and a guy with a KFC bucket on his head. Instead, I was hoping to see history in the making. I was hoping to see the launch of a solo career that some said could have an impact on music not seen since the likes of Michael Jackson some twenty years ago.
Justin Timberlake’s first solo appearance sans N’Sync was that night. I dreaded the two hour drive that still awaited me, and I dozed in and out of the show, but it was so important to me to have the opportunity to say that I saw the next Michael Jackson perform for the first time.
Column 10 – Part 2
So you want to be a CAD Monkey? continued……
Menu bar
Layout space generates WYSIWYG (What You See Is What You Get) layout. The white background represents the paper (that you just specified) where your drawing will be printed. The dashed line inside the edge of the white area represents your printer’s margins (printable area). Finally the solid rectangle that surrounds your drawing is the outline of the Layout viewport. (A viewport is a CAD object that works like a window into your drawing from the Layout tab.)
To specify the scale of a drawing, double click the viewport. A contextual menu titled PropertiesNOTE will appear.
Following the example shown in the image, you can specify your drawing’s scale.
Suppose now that although the scale is appropriate the drawing is clipped by the edge of the viewport. Your solution can be twofold. You can make the viewport larger by clicking it once to select it with the cross-hairs and pull on any of the handle bars.
If this doesn’t work, take note that upon clicking once on the viewport the area within the viewport now becomes active Model space. In other words, even though you’re currently in Layout space, the viewport displays exactly what was done in Model space. You can pan around, zoom in and out, even alter the drawing (although this is not recommended because precision can be more difficult to maintain). In this second case, just be aware that if you need to zoom, the scale is no longer what you previously specified.
As you become more experienced with CAD and need to supply a document with greater detail–say multiple views of one drawing, for example, Layout space will be of greater importance.
For Example….
Say you’re like Mr. Rothe and you have drawn a new industrial product–a stapler. You want to show the product as a whole, but also would like to include a pair of details. You have several possible methods of attack. You could draw the stapler three times. You could also draw the item once, copy it twice and lay things out in Model space to plot. This all becomes sloppy. There is a more efficient way; use Layout space and create three (in this case) separate viewports.
Upon selecting a Layout tab the first time, you can specify the number of viewports. You can also edit the number of viewports in Layout space. To remove viewports, select those that are unwanted and erase them. (When doing so, don’t panic; remember that a viewport is merely a window to view what you have drawn in Model space. The model is still there.)
To add viewports, select View > Viewports > New viewports. A viewports dialog box appears that contains a set of predefined viewport layouts. Select the number of viewports you will need and press OK. You’ll be prompted to specify the layout of the viewports with the cross-hairs, but just press enter to select the default, <Fit>.
Once in sight, you can move and alter the viewports more easily. Mr. Rothe uses one viewport to show the entire stapler model. The other two he independently selects and zooms in to show different details. And look how he saves time: By using Layout space, Mr. Rothe can draw the stapler once, yet generate a drawing with multiple views of this new hallmark design.
When set to plot from Layout space, pull up the Properties dialog box again (if not already in view). At the bottom of the Categorized tab is the Hide plot command. Using the drop-down menu, select Yes. If you don’t, your viewport windows will remain on the plot thus yielding a boxed result. Following this method, Mr. Rothe creates a clean, efficient drawing that wins him the bid.
NOTE: Double clicking on any item within Model Space also generates a Properties dialog box. Within this box object’s properties can be viewed and altered.
Tips to get a move on
Zooming is critical in performing accurate drawings. You’ll find that you frequently zoom in and out to make sure things are precise. Although this can be accessed by any of the four previously mentioned techniques, if you find yourself CADing and don’t have a wheelmouse, go and buy one; scrolling forward with the wheel zooms in, scrolling back zooms you out. No matter what amount of CAD you do, you’ll quickly find that this is the way to go.
As you type commands, be privy to experimenting with word truncation. Oftentimes the first letter or two (sometimes more) may suffice. If you err, no worry. You can always undo. In last column’s line removal example typing “e” and pressing “space bar” or “enter” erases the line.
Function keys perform some very oft-used commands that can save you time hunting through menus or pressing multiple-key shortcuts.
F1 will be a favorite of yours till you get more comfortable with CAD. This Help Menu is quite extensive and provides helpful diagrammatic assistance.
F8 – operates CAD’s ORTHO function (made visible in CAD’s Status bar that sits right below the Command Window). This permits you to only draw lines at 90 degrees (i.e. orthogonally) to one another.
F9 – works CAD’s OSNAP (object snap) function. To relieve you from zooming in infinitely close to objects to be sure you’ve connected object’s termination points, turn this function on. CAD locks in on target points specified by those items checked in a pop-up menu. (To view this menu, right click OSNAP in the Status bar and follow the contextual menu.)
When selecting elements within a drawing, you’ll notice as you click and drag the mouse, a box appears. If you click again, the box disappears. Herein CAD again presents you with two options: If you click and drag down and to the right, the box is solid. This type of box will only select (i.e. place handle bars on drafted items) that are enclosed within the box. If you click and drag up and to the left, the box is dashed. In addition to items that the box encloses, this type of box will select anything it touches.
Thought for improvement
No matter how you get work done in CAD, the Command Window displays all actions undergone. (In fact, this is how I learned a few tricks from friends: pressing F2 opens a Command Window archive enabling Curious George to see how Koko did something step by step.)
~final
Column 10 – Part 1
CAD Interface part 2
Once again, Carl Sepura is this month’s guest columnist. Read more about him in his bio on the sidebar.
On to the article already you bozo.
This is a fantastic and very thorough article on CAD. This will not be useful to my parents, or their friends, but will be to anyone with a serious mind about learning CAD. If nothing else read it for Carl’s strong voice and engaging writing. He has done an excellent job in explanation and visual notations, so without further delay, Carl take it away.
CAD chimp part 2
Last time we explored the basics of AutoCAD and similar CADing programs. This time around, I teach you the importance of CAD Layers, how to print what you’ve drawn, and a few tips to speed up production.
Layers
CAD drawings can become laden with information. To help a user sift through the array, CAD provides a user with layers. If you can imagine a drawing as a pile of acetate transparencies, layers enable a user to put specific items on different sheets.
These can be helpful, say, if you’re drawing a home that displays plumbing, mechanical, and electrical elements. When your plumbing contractor needs to have a document telling him where pipes need to be placed, as the draftsperson you can simply turn off the non-applicable layers and print it.
But layers go beyond acting as light switches.NOTE Within layers, a user can manipulate layer attributes: colors, lineweights (i.e. thicknesses), linetypes (e.g. dashed or solid), visibility, alterability, etc. Layers can be accessed through any of the four CADing techniques as mentioned in my last column. The simplest manner, however, is by an icon displayed in the extreme left of the Properties toolbar. To edit or create layers, click the second, colorized icon.
Note: Although turning off and freezing layers performs the identical action of making a layer invisible, the former still permits a user to edit that layer. To make sure you don’t screw up a drawing, disregard the lit/dark (on/off) light bulb icon and only use the sun/snowflake (thaw/freeze) icon. These icons are accessed by clicking the drop-down menu just to the right of the layers icon mentioned above and pertain to each layer independently.
Plotting
If you want a quick plot (CAD’s word for print) of something where precise scale is unnecessary, you can plot using any of the four general methods as described in my last column. (I happen to be partial to the Control-P keyboard shortcut.)
When the Plot dialog box appears, specify your printer in the Plot Device tab. Next, select the Plot Settings tab and specify the Paper size and Drawing orientation. To make sure you plot what you want, press the Window button in Plot area. The Plot dialog box will disappear and you see your drawing.
Using the cross-hairs, click and drag a box around what you want to plot. After a second click the Plot dialog box will reappear. To make sure the contents you have just boxed will fit on your paper, press the Full Preview button in the lower left corner of the Plot dialog box. CAD will work for a moment and then display a sample showing you how the drawing will appear on your printer output.
If things are a go, either press ESC to return to the Plot dialog box and press OK, or right click and select Plot from the pop-up menu. If the scale is off, or if what you need to see is not entirely viewable, you can alter the drawing’s scale within the Plot scale portion of the Plot dialog box or repeat the Window selection process. With quick plots, the quickest way to get a viewable scale is to select Scaled to Fit.
If precision is of greater importance, take note of the drooping tabs at the left-hand bottom of the drawing area. The tabs are labeled Model,
Layout1, and Layout2. The Model tab represents model space–where you draw. (Unless you have been adventurous, up to this point, everything you have done has been accomplished here.)
Subsequent Layout tabs (you are able to create more through the menu bar and a sequence of cascading menus) enable you to create different presentations of what you have drawn in Model space. Even though you can plot from Model space, Layout space eliminates the guess work.
The first time a Layout space tab is selected, CAD prompts you with a Page Setup dialog box. Herein you specify the printer to be used and the page size you will plot on. This may seem a bit repetitive if you have previously plotted in Model space. No worries, however–completing the dialog box presents you with a somewhat different appearance.
Column 9 – Part 2
So you want to be a CAD Monkey? continued……
Menu bar
Secondly, you can access the Menu bar. Just as with any basic program (word processing comes to mind) that lists “File, Edit, View…” across the top of a window, CAD can also be used in similar fashion.
Say you want to draw that line again, only this time using the Menu Bar method. No sweat. Follow the proper sequence through the contextual menus (I believe it’s Draw>Line) and your cross-hairs again have lost that square appearance. Pull down menus generally provide you with an exhaustive list of options for your chosen command.
No matter how you choose to generate a line, when the line is a rubber-banding line you can specify a line’s length and orientation. For example, typing @3<0 tells CAD that the distance you are specifying is from the last point you selected. The 3 is the distance, and the less-than symbol (<) tells CAD you are designating the angle at which the line is to be drawn.
NOTE: CAD recognizes angles with a coordinate system. It begins at 3 o’clock (0 degrees) and works positively counter-clockwise (12 noon is 90 degrees, 9 is 180, etc.).
Keyboard shortcuts
One can scurry with the mouse to and from drawing to select tools and continue drafting, but all this movement is both wasteful and tiring. As Chip Cullen taught us last time around in his Photoshop column, Keyboard shortcuts save time.
Although this aspect of drafting is more limited than the other three, it can simplify repetitive tasks.
Suppose you want to remove that line you drew earlier. First select the line by moving the cross-hairs over any part of the line and press the left mouse button. Little squares will appear on the line. These are known as “handle bars.” Any time you select items you have drawn, these appear.
The total number of handle bars is dependent upon the item you have selected. Being a line, CAD’s default handle bar count is three–one for each end and one for the middle.
Now that you’ve selected what you want to remove, you have two keyboarding options. Like Photoshop and most other programs, CAD uses combination key tasks to simplify user input. Holding “control” and pressing “x” will cut (i.e. delete) whatever you’ve selected. You can also press “backspace” or “del” (delete).
Toolbars
Now it’s fair to suppose that you’re going to want to draw more than lines in a two-dimensional drawing. No worries–the basic tools necessary for creating two-dimensional drawings are visible in the default setting (see above image). These are the Draw and Modify toolbars and are aligned vertically on the left. Each tool within a toolbar possesses a unique identifying icon.
To find out the name of an unknown tool, do as Chip instructed and let your mouse arrow hover over that particular tool; the tool title will appear in a pop-up box. Once you learn their titles, you can use the Command window which can be faster.
As your CADing ability increases, you’ll find yourself needing more tools. If you move your pointer over one of the two described toolbars (but not on any particular tool) and press your right mouse button, CAD will provide you with a comprehensive list of other toolbars. You’ll find that selectivity is key when using these, however, as the more of these you have open, the smaller your drafting space becomes.
Closing note
There are countless manuals out there that can provide you with know-how in a CAD environment. Two I have found useful in my short four years of experience are AutoCAD Instant Reference and Mastering AutoCAD 2000 both by George Omura.
The former is less expensive and covers the basics well. If you are feeling brave and want the potential of exploring CAD’s more complicated capacity, the latter is more comprehensive and supplies a tutorial how-to CD.
~final
Column 9 – Part 1
Building up to the good stuff!!
Carl Sepura is this month’s guest columnist. Read more about him in his bio on the sidebar.
Carl and I have been friends since high school when we played baseball for four years together. In fact we go back as far as when I was still throwing my smokin fastball from 45 feet. That’s right, little league, and on a whole team of right fielders, he would consistently his my meatballs off the fence.
What’s up with all the guest columnists?
I have had people ask me this, and I am sure many of you are wondering.
I enjoy taking a break from the column, and it just so happens initially I have had a great flood of interest and great articles.
The purpose is to get my peers thinking about creative writing, to learn more about the programs they use everyday by educating another person, and hopefully get some good exposure, especially in the future as this site continues to grow in size and visitors.
It will help my site’s rankings in search engines because engines like sites with content. In theory, as the site grows, people should be able to find these great tutorials by searching for them generally like “Photoshop tutorial shortcuts”.
On to the article already you bozo.
This is a fantastic and very thorough article on CAD. This will not be useful to my parents, or their friends, but will be to anyone with a serious mind about learning CAD. If nothing else read it for Carl’s strong voice and engaging writing. He has done an excellent job in explanation and visual notations, so without further delay, Carl take it away.
So you want to be a CAD Monkey?
In the fall of 2000, I took an AutoCAD class to help beef up my own speed of production in my architecture studies at the University of Michigan. Turns out those four elective credits have become my most marketable attribute to date (thanks, Michigan).
Every interview I have had to this point (a whopping four…don’t get too excited) has asked me what version of CAD I have used, and to what extent I’ve used it. Simple tests have been administered–draw a house eave, for example–to witness my knowledge and expediency of the program.
Despite my lack of enthusiasm for potential firms’ interest in my CADing ability (I want to design!), it is a viable program that supplies one with a toe to jam in that proverbial door.
Due to CAD’s extensive nature, the intent of this column is simply to familiarize potential CADing primates with basic awareness as to how this program functions. When given the opportunity to sit down and fiddle with the interface, hopefully this will serve you with an advantageous beginner’s step in the right direction.
A few disclaimers
Despite its overwhelming popular use as a drafting program, CAD is thorough and possesses many talents. 3D modeling, rendering and mpeg sequencing/movies are three popular CADing abilities that stand forth.
These, however, will not be explored today. Besides taking much time to explain, other programs are more suitable as CAD’s attention to detail requires extensive user input (and therefore know-how) making these functions a bit cumbersome for novices.
I’ve worked within two different CAD environments (AutoCAD 2000-to present, and Desktop 3.3). Although I cannot speak on behalf of all CAD programs, these two most commonly used formats operate on basically the same terms. From what I have heard, ArchiCAD (the Macintosh equivalent) adheres as well. The major difference is the latter two are more graphically interfaced.
Also on the note of desktop appearance, although CAD enables the user to customize his/her workspace; this column explains matters in the default format. (To specify your own user preferences, pull up the Options pop-up menu accessed through the Menu bar via Tools > Options.)
So what are the basics?
Before I even begin, take solace that if you ever find yourself in a CADing debacle, press ESC (the escape key). Contrary to many programs, this key does exactly what it says; no matter what command you may find yourself entwined, pressing ESC a few times will cancel that command and pull you free from harm.
CAD bases drafting with a two-pronged attack. Although the mouse determines the location of drafting elements, the keyboard initiates drawing activity. (There are exceptions, but this is majoritively true.)
Understanding this approach, the evolution of CAD from an MS-dos based (keyboarding) program to one that is more visually operated (mouse clicking icon) has created more opportunities to get your drafting done. That is, CAD gives users a multitude of options to complete identical tasks. No one way is more correct than any other–it all just depends on what you are most comfortable with using. Presently CAD provides the user with four general ways to execute commands:
-Command window
-Menu bar
-Keyboard shortcuts
-toolbars
FIGURE 1
Command window
The most often used is the Command window. At the bottom of the display, CAD sets up a three line console. This is where you type what task you want to perform. If you want to draw a line, type “line.” (CAD is not case sensitive so typing line, LINE, Line or LiNe produces identical results.) Now hit the “space bar” or press “enter” to activate what you have just typed.
Any time the cursor in the drawing area, you will see a crosshairs with a small eighth inch square box outline at the intersection. When you choose to draw a line the default square crosshairs will change to two perpendicular lines. This disappearing act happens any time a drawing command has been issued.
Use the left mouse button, click once to begin and click again to end your line accordingly. Notice that before terminating the line segment, the line was elastic in appearance. This is known as a rubber-banding line. (Unless ESC is pressed, the line tool will still be selected and any new clicks in the drawing area will make new lines.)
Column 8 – Part 2
Dear Barney Continued…
You guys were the only people I knew growing up that had a computer. I didn’t find that particularly strange when I was younger, but thinking about it now, I do. Your son Mark was really into them, and he had a ton of games loaded onto your system. So many times I would come over and play the games on a rainy day, riding over on my bike. I would get to wrap up in a towel and drink hot chocolate. Sometimes we would even fix French toast. Donna made the best French toast I had ever tasted, and since my mom barely ever made it, it was that much more of a treat.
Most all of my memories are happy ones. If my parents left, we would stay with you, and there was always something to look forward to and we knew that we would have a blast. I think my real grandparents on my mom’s side were even jealous of you guys at one point and the time you got to spend with us. But all good things come to an end.
My dad lost his job. We had to move, and this was the first true tragedy in my life. Then to make things worse, you guys were leaving to go on the road. You also put your house up for sale and bought an RV, planning to spend a good chunk of the time in Texas. It was weird to think about so much happening so quickly. But Donna did say, “It made our decision a little easier to get up and go knowing that you were also moving, because otherwise, that would have been tough.”
We had some problems securing things in Grand Haven for the house we bid on. There always seems to be that kind of drama when dealing with so many homeowners. So, for a couple of weeks we were in limbo. Our stuff was in a truck somewhere, and we were living at your house out of a suitcase. It wasn’t the best situation, but you guys made it as best as it could be.
My time in St. Johns started and ended with the two of you. From something simple like playing parents playing you two in cards on Friday nights to more complex things like a change of lifestyle and location, we did everything together.
Time has passed, but I haven’t forgotten. Not completely anyway.
So when my mom called me a month ago with some bad news, these memories started to swirl around again.
Seems you’re going to leave us Barney. Funny how doctors use the phrase, “Terminally Ill.” In some regards, aren’t we all the moment we are born? Maybe doctors aren’t Christian and believe in some urethral afterlife bullhockey. But I guess in some respects, this diagnosis has a more definite timeline in mind.
But like Donna has said, you have experience a lot. This isn’t something too sudden, especially from my point of view. I know a lot worse. You have led a wonderful life. If all of the memories I have doesn’t show you that, I don’t know what will.
I am sorry that I can’t be there in Texas with you. My parents will be there to see you soon enough and will carry my wishes with them. I know it will be hard for them to see the both of you, and then leave knowing that they won’t see Barney, ever again. I don’t think that they realize though, that this is the first time in a long time that we won’t be doing this together.
We can’t go with you Barney. Which really sucks, pardon my French. Not this time. But know that these are the thoughts you leave with me.
So many people make careers around helping others, and making a difference in someone else’s life. My wife is one of them. Everyday she has a chance to help shape a child into a more prepared person later on in life. But, you don’t need to be a teacher to affect people.
There are children that don’t ever get to know their grandparents. I had five for most of my life. I had an extra set where some kids might not even have one, and you were never officially anything. We were never related, and not even bound in a “sponsorship” like my sister, but that didn’t matter. Not to mention, all of these five people were in good health for most of my life, and only now are they all going away.
We will be thinking about you, and even though we can’t go with you, our thoughts will be with you. All the fun we had, and what a good person you are to have spent so much time on me. You might think you are getting out of our agreement by going away on this trip, but you aren’t.
You’ll still be my “Best Buddy.”
~final
Column 8 – Part 1
Dear Barney,
It has been awhile. Actually, not that long. We just spoke on the phone a couple of days ago, albeit very briefly. But in general it has been over ten years off and on. Earlier this year I believe was the last time we saw you when you and Donna visited and met Sarah for the first time. It was good since you guys weren’t available in May for the wedding and is turning out to me more important than we would have known.
I have been mulling over this letter for just short of a month now. That time period seems eons longer than it probably is.
When I called the other day, I wasn’t sure what to expect. But I found that things were not at all different from what I had remembered. I also had a second purpose in my contact. I was hoping my conversation with the two of you sparked something in me to write. I wanted to write you a personal letter because one phone call hardly justifies the end to something of this magnitude.
You know Barney, when I look back at the time in my life I spent in St. Johns Michigan, I remember one thing in particular. The two of you were two of the most influential figures in my upbringing outside of my parents.
Many of my childhood memories were spent at your house. When we had major events, birthdays, school functions, church activities, we did them all together.
I remember watching the second Ninja Turtles movie at your house on my birthday with some of my closest friends and eating pizza. I remember how cool it was that Donna had that waterbed, and how I had never looked forward to going to bed early ever before in my life. I remember the back of the garage and how for the longest time Mark had some skating ramps back there. Donna told us not to play on them, but we were kids, and that is exactly what we did. My reward for my disobedience was a healthy thick splinter or two in my hands when I tried to get down from the top. I also remember that there was a wall of tall spruces that had a small passageway for a child to take a shortcut through to the church a block away.
I remember the neighbor. Their driveway was separated by a foot and a half of mangled grass, and that was weird because our house had what seemed like 40 acres of land to play on. I knew they seemed to have different priorities because their whole yard seemed to be run down. But that didn’t bug Donna. It seemed like she knew everyone, when in fact, she was just friendly to anyone she met. One time she took me over there to borrow books and I remember the strange foreign unwelcome smell of a strangers house. I didn’t really borrow any “books”. I borrowed collections of Charles Schultz’ Peanuts and Jim Davis’ Garfield. I used to take tracing paper and redraw my favorite Garfield strips on your puffy carpet.
When I look back, one of the more predominant memories was how I was your “Best Buddy”. But I can’t remember how you got that title. Maybe it was because I didn’t have many friends. It always seemed like when my parents met a new acquaintance, there would always be a girl Jessica’s age, but never a boy that I could play with. Maybe it was because you felt sorry for me because I was a selfish brat that said things that I shouldn’t have, distancing myself from other children my age. But Donna jogged my memory with the true story.
She reminded me of how disappointed I was that Jessica had the both of you as Godparents and you were so active in her life. I hardly ever saw mine, and you guys just seemed like a natural fit for not just her but me as well. As it was, you were always giving us stuff. Why not give you a more formal title.
I started to pity myself. “Nobody loves me” was my weak defeated response. But Barney, you humored me. “Well, I love you, and that makes one.” It was soon after, that Donna, in a ceremony as formal as a knighting I am sure, anointed us “Best Buddies”.
I remember how cool that was. Here was this outlandishly tall guy, with cool whip white colored hair (thick and plentiful might I add), and funny colored big toe nails, and he wanted to be my best buddy. You always had this big cuddly bear aura and were larger than life with your slow motions and comical laugh when we would try to tickle you.
Since our families did everything together, I got to be around my buddy a lot. Every Halloween our family’s final stop would be your house. There would always be a full sized candy bar waiting for us there, not those stupid little miniatures that everyone else handed out.
My sister and I would sit and sort through our candy as my parents and you conversed. I would always take that time to eat the best stuff right away, and a lot of it. I thought that if you weren’t sick on Halloween, then you were probably doing something wrong. You guys certainly didn’t stop me, and that is why it always seemed like your house was beyond any strict rules my parents set. Donna even relayed to me that one Halloween, you guys ran out of candy. We got to sort through our own and the stuff we didn’t want was what you guys handed out the rest of the night. My parents never would have encouraged that, seriously. My dad got pissed off when I brought a quacking duck to decorating the tree at church.
Then there was the camping. How many times did we go camping together? I know we went to Old School Lake, I believe was the name, a number of times. There really wasn’t much to do there in particular, but it was always a ton of fun with you guys. We would sing silly songs and roast marshmallows and do bananaboats. (For those of you who don’t know what Bananaboats are, they’re a wonderful conglomeration of marshmallows chocolate and banana wrapped up in the peel and some tinfoil and chucked into the fire to procure.)
